Dating Advice – Dating and Relationship Coaching

Sapiens: A Book Review

Making a great first impression is such an important factor in today’s dating world. And yes, you could chat about what you’re watching on Netflix, by why not wow them, by talking about an incredible book? (which you can purchase right through my site which helps fuel this blog by clicking on the above link) Sapiens is a very simple read, and I pretty much guaranteed that with the diversity of subjects it touches on you will find something engaging to talk about!

For example, did you know where our monetary system evolved from? Or how about the ever interesting subject of why Sapiens are the dominant species? A little too dry for you? Ok, how about just the wonder of exploring why we even exist and what role Cyborgs could play in our future?

A brief history, will touch on something meaningful to you, and give you ample opportunity to show off your intellect far beyond what the latest episode of Stranger Things will. This in an honest and thoughtful look at our evolution and asks some pretty open ended questions in the process.

So, if you are ready to stand out, I would highly recommend Sapiens! And if you really love it, there is a sequel too which I will purchasing shortly!

Happy reading! And of course, happy dating!

Are you ready to kick your dating life into high gear? Why not reach out? I offer one on one coaching, as well as provide a host of resources to give you that edge in the dating market. Contact me today to learn more.

Blog Post, Reading List

A Natural History of Love (Book Review)

Are you ready to learn the history of love and improve your dating game or current understanding the evolution of attraction? Do you love learning through poetry or have interest in the science and neurophysiology behind your desire to cuddle? Then might I recommend picking up a copy of A Natural History of Love: Author of the National Bestseller A Natural History of the Senses” by Diana Ackerman (Which you can purchase directly through my affiliate link above!) Where as my last book review on Why Gentlemen Prefer Blonds is a fun and simple read, this delves much deeper into the emotional, while still maintaining strong scientific support.

This book began as a beautiful journey through historical literature in all things love, including dandies throughout our past and the impact they had on relationships and women. Then it shifts to the erotics of love, and delving into our love customs. It’s a beautiful and inspirational journey that I highly recommend. It definitely has its base in science, but is portrayed in an elegant way, surprising you at the end about how much you have learned in the process.

Because of the rhythmic nature of the book I rate this an easy read for those well versed in reading poetry, and a moderate read for those who are not (which is the group I fall into). So pick up your copy today for some before bed reading or perhaps in a relaxing bubble bath!

Stay tuned for the next review geared to help you date, love and succeed in relationships!

Blog Post, Online Dating Tips

Online Dating Isn’t a Playground…

Whereby the game is simply to be noticed by any means necessary! Have you ever opened a message with “hey” or “how are you?”. What about sending a funny meme online to a public forum just to get some conversation going? Have you ever matched with someone, only to play the endless waiting game, hoping the person on the other end will message first? How’s that working out for you?

Chances are it’s not, and that you’re still single. And here’s why. Online dating is saturated with people who don’t know how to use it. The singles pool is filled with lonely individuals who are so frustrated that any attention is good attention, even if it isn’t (such as the dick pictures). We become so frustrated that we are single we resort to the playground mentality of being thankful for any human interaction even if it entails being yelled at or blocked. It doesn’t make a lot of sense when you think about it, but misery, depression and loneliness does some pretty weird things to our psyche.

Online dating if done correctly can be an amazing opportunity to meet people. I met my partner on Plenty of Fish nearly 8 years ago. And I have countless friends who are married and starting families all thanks to online dating. And do you know what they all had in common? They weren’t on there just to get attention. They were there with intent and purpose. Meaning, they thought about their messages before sending. They envisioned the reaction they would get, and if it didn’t work (which is never does the first few times), they would re-evaluate, and try something new. By putting the scientific method of hypothesis, experimenting, checking your results and then rinse and repeat until you get it right, many of my nearest and dearest are happily in love.

So stop playing games online. Think before you type something. Imagine the response you want to get, and dating with purpose and intent.

For an easy to use guide on just how to send that first message, and interaction download this easy to use guide today! Or to book an initial consultation for one on one coaching please e-mail, ghislaine9999@gmail.com (In Person and Online Sessions Available).

Blog Post, Reading List

The Art of Seduction [Book Review]

Robert Greene has been my favorite author for well over 15 years and The Art of Seduction is one of the very few books that I have read front to back more than twice. And also, why I chose to place a link to purchase right at the top of this post (from amazon)! While the title may lead you to think this is a pick up book, the reality is far from it. This book pinpoints, in historical and modern detail, something quite necessary, who we attract and who attracts us! From rake to temptress and beyond, the author provocatively, describes historical figures who best exemplify each seduction type/personality. It’s a completely eye opening way of viewing your romantic partners past and present, and more importantly what skills you employ in your own quest to find love.

I adore this book for a number of reasons, but my favorite moment was when I read the chapter that best described how I seduce, or flirt with people. It’s an exhilarating rush, reading about yourself, and pinpointing the depth to which your personal reach can go, and the influences that seduction type has had on our history! Luckier still are those who have employed more than one seduction type and can relate to a few different ways of finding love!

Why do I recommend this book to all the singles I coach so highly? It is an in depth exploration of seduction. It shows who gets the fire burning in our own bellies, and who we in turn do the same to. It shows the power of flirtation, seduction and the positive ways you can employ this amazing gift to intrigue, fall in love, and most important, keep things interesting and passionate in a long term relationship! Just writing this post makes me want to go and re-read it again!

To know someone else, you first have to know yourself. This book hits the nail on the head when it comes to seduction and love types. It is not a short read, but the way it is set up you can choose to go back to the anecdotes in the margins, or just skip to the chapters that you find most relate able. So for anyone looking for some insight on their own personal sexual power, or seductive capabilities, I highly recommend The Art of Seduction!

Blog Post

Relationship Advice From Your Friends…A Common Mistake

When you were last heartbroken, what was the first thing that you did? Most likely you went to your best friend for consolation, venting and a drink. And almost every single time, what do they tell you at some point in the night? That they knew the person wasn’t for you, that they saw a red flag and you can do so much better now that you are alone. And you feel comforted by this. It’s for the best and you can now start the healing process.

The problem with this though, if your friend saw these red flags, why didn’t they tell you about them beforehand? Perhaps if your friend had been honest about their concerns you could have even addressed them with your partner and maybe worked on them. And when you receive that wisdom do you ask them their qualifications? Are they in a loving, healthy relationship? What’s more, if you had concerns of your own prior to your breakup did you even know how to bring them up? To work on them? Do you have the ability to ask for your need or wants? Do you know how to listen in the future?

Have you ever felt like you were just surviving in a relationship? That you just didn’t want to rock the boat and you knew if you brought a specific topic up you would be single again? This is not a healthy way to live. A loving partnership is just that, a partnership. Where two people can talk about their problems, even when they include their own relationship. And work together to find solutions, compromises and come out strong on the other side.

Want to learn how to actually accomplish that? Contact me today to set up your initial consultation! ghislaine9999@gmail.com

Blog Post, Online Dating Tips

Online Dating: The Woman Who Message First

Over the past few weeks I have been getting a large number of messages from women. I am not sure why, but I sure appreciate it. Now that I have a little more information to go off, I am boldly going to make a comparative statement of opening online dating messages. Woman rarely make the first move other than a timid like. This may be why the pool of users on Bumble is so low. And when we do, and I am including myself here for fairness and honesty, it is usually terribly awkward or just plain lackluster. Of all the messages I have received from women the only ones noteworthy are from those just looking to be friends. You see, they have nothing to lose in being themselves. This reality hurts my little feelings. But there, I said it. Woman’s openers when they are looking for anything more than friendship, are terrible. “Hey there”, “you’re cute”, and “I just thought I would say a quick hi” are a few examples.

And while we are on the topic women, “hi” is a terrible opener. I don’t know if we do it just to test the water and see if someone really is on the other end. Or perhaps we are shy. Or maybe just spineless and cannot handle another rejection. But seriously, we can do better. If we expect guys to be clever, to read our profiles and come up with something not copy and pasted, then guess what? We have to give back too. I know how excited men get when a woman messages first. So, do yourself a favor and say something funny, clever, or interesting. Do to men what we want them to do to us.

Now once a conversation miraculously gets going, there is room for improvement in the first few lines. Women, seem to treat online dating like an interview. It is question, after question after question. Whereby men, make a surprising amount of statements. Statements that seem to have no forethought as to where the recipient is supposed to go with the conversation. With women, I can barely keep up with the questions, and have to take a deep breath to ensure I take the time to ask questions back. With men on the other hand, I am constantly trying to fuel a conversation, or fight to keep it flowing.

So here I have but a few suggestions for those initial online dating messages that should work for both sexes, and that is simply to be yourself. The goal is to meet at some point, right? Show some personality, take that ridiculously small risk. You do not know the person on the other end so making mistakes is fine. Test out the waters, test out some messages, try new things, try new approaches and this does not mean practice your small talk! I would strongly recommend that you make a fake profile if you are struggling to figure out what to say. Perhaps you could even try making one for the opposite gender that you are after and then try to have a conversation. You may figure out a style of communication that is attractive and you want to start using yourself. As we are losing the ability to communicate with humans, you may have to fake a scenario to educate yourself and put the shoe on the other foot so to speak. Gain some insight from the other side to recognize what you are most definitely doing wrong if you cannot seem to get conversation going.

So, message someone your interested in, male or female, in a voice that works for you. And please, ladies, keep trying. Keep messaging me, and I will do the same. If we work together, maybe we can have some fun?

Do you want to learn more about how to make a great first impression? Check out my Online Dating shop on Etsy!