When you were last heartbroken, what was the first thing that you did? Most likely you went to your best friend for consolation, venting and a drink. And almost every single time, what do they tell you at some point in the night? That they knew the person wasn’t for you, that they saw a red flag and you can do so much better now that you are alone. And you feel comforted by this. It’s for the best and you can now start the healing process.
The problem with this though, if your friend saw these red flags, why didn’t they tell you about them beforehand? Perhaps if your friend had been honest about their concerns you could have even addressed them with your partner and maybe worked on them. And when you receive that wisdom do you ask them their qualifications? Are they in a loving, healthy relationship? What’s more, if you had concerns of your own prior to your breakup did you even know how to bring them up? To work on them? Do you have the ability to ask for your need or wants? Do you know how to listen in the future?
Have you ever felt like you were just surviving in a relationship? That you just didn’t want to rock the boat and you knew if you brought a specific topic up you would be single again? This is not a healthy way to live. A loving partnership is just that, a partnership. Where two people can talk about their problems, even when they include their own relationship. And work together to find solutions, compromises and come out strong on the other side.
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