The Origins of Sex [Book Review]

(affiliate link)

This book, was not what I was expecting, and taught me so much about the evolution of our sexual laws, thinking, and how we have addressed sexual preferences throughout the ages.  While this book was a challenging level read (and you can purchase right through this handy link on amazon to support this blog) after about a third of the way in, I couldn’t put it down.

The origins of prostitution, and the ways the legal system tried to control it could have been a book in of itself.  And interlaced with this was how we have legally and through societal norms dealt with homosexuality, marriage, and the reformation of women.  What I found incredibly fascinating was this constant shift between males and females as seducer, and then helpless to the other ones wiles.  Our views of sexuality and gender roles have been anything but a straight laced evolution and this meticulously researched book offers nearly 80 pages of notes and additional resources.

So, why then endorse this on a relationship and communication building blog?  Quite simply, the more we know about the history of sex, and our attitudes towards our sexuality, the better prepared we are to handle what this modern dating world throws at us.  History is the very foundation on which we build our societal norms.  And knowing how we have failed at controlling prostitutes, women, and even pornography in the past is one eye opening way of accepting it in our future.  The more we control, the more we set ourselves up for failure, and the sexual revolution is no exception.

So, if you want to wow your next date with the real history behind The Origins of Sex, this book is now on sale, and is a incredible read!

Everything is #@%!ed [Book Review]

One of the key tenets that I tell my clients is that you need to be in a good dating state of mind in order to meet someone new.  After reading Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope (which you can purchase by clicking on the book cover and the bonus of fueling this blog), by Mark Manson.  I can now go much deeper with what that means.  Having a good dating state of mind is not about just being positive, and putting your best foot forward.  Instead, it is about being realistic with who you are and having a firm grasp on what hope means to you, and more, understanding that sometimes life sucks and you’re OK with that.

How does that help you find the person of your dreams?  Quite simply, opening yourself up to another person is tough.  And it is even tougher if you are simply putting on a happy face for show.  And being in place where you react with your emotions alone makes you more vulnerable to feeling hopeless when things don’t go your way.

This book is an incredibly simple read, and the third of his three books I have read (so a big fan and I will be doing a review on Models as the number self help book for men I coach!)  If you have ever felt that life is just not fair.  Or that you keep wishing and hoping for good things but they just aren’t happening, then this is the eye opener you need to read.  Learning to accept life as it is.  To be present in the moment, understanding that pain is the universal constant, and that is OK.  And more to the point to give you a direct path to have a better life right now, instead of just waiting for it to happen once you find the one.

As always, Mark Manson talks in a relatable voice, with humour, and down to earth language, even when referencing Plato, Kant, and Nietzsche (which is not easy to do).  So I highly recommend this book as an integral part of getting your best self out into the dating scene!

Sapiens: A Book Review

Making a great first impression is such an important factor in today’s dating world.  And yes, you could chat about what you’re watching on Netflix, by why not wow them, by talking about an incredible book? (which you can purchase right through my site which helps fuel this blog by clicking on the above link)  Sapiens is a very simple read, and I pretty much guaranteed that with the diversity of subjects it touches on you will find something engaging to talk about!

For example, did you know where our monetary system evolved from?  Or how about the ever interesting subject of why Sapiens are the dominant species?  A little too dry for you?  Ok, how about just the wonder of exploring why we even exist and what role Cyborgs could play in our future?

A brief history, will touch on something meaningful to you, and give you ample opportunity to show off your intellect far beyond what the latest episode of Stranger Things will.  This in an honest and thoughtful look at our evolution and asks some pretty open ended questions in the process.

So, if you are ready to stand out, I would highly recommend Sapiens!  And if you really love it, there is a sequel too which I will purchasing shortly!

Happy reading! And of course, happy dating!

Are you ready to kick your dating life into high gear?  Why not reach out?  I offer one on one coaching, as well as provide a host of resources to give you that edge in the dating market.  Contact me today to learn more.

A Natural History of Love (Book Review)

Are you ready to learn the history of love and improve your dating game or current understanding the evolution of attraction? Do you love learning through poetry or have interest in the science and neurophysiology behind your desire to cuddle? Then might I recommend picking up a copy of A Natural History of Love: Author of the National Bestseller A Natural History of the Senses” by Diana Ackerman (Which you can purchase directly through my affiliate link above!) Where as my last book review on Why Gentlemen Prefer Blonds is a fun and simple read, this delves much deeper into the emotional, while still maintaining strong scientific support.

This book began as a beautiful journey through historical literature in all things love, including dandies throughout our past and the impact they had on relationships and women. Then it shifts to the erotics of love, and delving into our love customs. It’s a beautiful and inspirational journey that I highly recommend. It definitely has its base in science, but is portrayed in an elegant way, surprising you at the end about how much you have learned in the process.

Because of the rhythmic nature of the book I rate this an easy read for those well versed in reading poetry, and a moderate read for those who are not (which is the group I fall into).  So pick up your copy today for some before bed reading or perhaps in a relaxing bubble bath!

Stay tuned for the next review geared to help you date, love and succeed in relationships!

Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blonds? [Book Review]

This was one of the most surprisingly informative reads of my summer (click on the link to purchase)!  Not only was this book a simple and fun read, filled with humor and clever stories, it was incredibly well researched and study supported.  Written by a biologist, Jena Pincott’s writing style allows you to read from cover to cover, or just scan through and read the parts of interest to you.

And what may you find in that? Well, if you’re single, it will explain the biological triggers for attraction from auditory, to oral, and of course visual.  If your in a relationship, it helps explain why your partner is the one.  Both by covering the clever ways our bodies choose who to procreate with, and the hormones and perhaps even pheromones that are present when selecting our forever mate.

But more than that, it is filled with tips and tricks to present yourself in the best possible light for attraction.  And seriously, who doesn’t need that from time to time, right?

A highly entertaining and informative read that I would highly recommend you pick up today (and there is a handy image to purchase from amazon right at the top of the page!).  So have fun learning about yourself, your prospects and even your partner if that applies to you, on a biological level.

Stay tuned for the next book review coming soon…

The Art of Seduction [Book Review]

Robert Greene has been my favorite author for well over 15 years and The Art of Seduction is one of the very few books that I have read front to back more than twice.  And also, why I chose to place a link to purchase right at the top of this post (from amazon)!  While the title may lead you to think this is a pick up book, the reality is far from it.  This book pinpoints, in historical and modern detail, something quite necessary, who we attract and who attracts us!  From rake to temptress and beyond, the author provocatively, describes historical figures who best exemplify each seduction type/personality.  It’s a completely eye opening way of viewing your romantic partners past and present, and more importantly what skills you employ in your own quest to find love.

I adore this book for a number of reasons, but my favorite moment was when I read the chapter that best described how I seduce, or flirt with people.  It’s an exhilarating rush, reading about yourself, and pinpointing the depth to which your personal reach can go, and the influences that seduction type has had on our history!  Luckier still are those who have employed more than one seduction type and can relate to a few different ways of finding love!

Why do I recommend this book to all the singles I coach so highly?  It is an in depth exploration of seduction.  It shows who gets the fire burning in our own bellies, and who we in turn do the same to.  It shows the power of flirtation, seduction and the positive ways you can employ this amazing gift to intrigue, fall in love, and most important, keep things interesting and passionate in a long term relationship!  Just writing this post makes me want to go and re-read it again!

To know someone else, you first have to know yourself.  This book hits the nail on the head when it comes to seduction and love types.  It is not a short read, but the way it is set up you can choose to go back to the anecdotes in the margins, or just skip to the chapters that you find most relate able.  So for anyone looking for some insight on their own personal sexual power, or seductive capabilities, I highly recommend The Art of Seduction!

The Game [Book Review] and Why This Book is Critical to Read in the Dating World

As a dating and relationship coach there is one quintessential book that every one of my male clients has heard of or read themselves, and that is The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss.  And after reading the book, I can absolutely see why.  So much so, that I encourage you to click on the book cover at the bottom of the page to get your copy off of Amazon today!  Inside the gold leafed pages are insights into a world where looks do not matter, in the quest to get laid.  All that is required is your unwavering dedication to the rule of Pick up and the games that lay within.   There is a formulaic way, for even those suffering from intense shyness or a complete lack of confidence to proceed into the world of women and start collecting digits.

The author delves deep into the secret society, becoming lost in the charms and basically becoming overwhelmed by the power unleashed by the seduction techniques.  And it is quite a journey, that requires complete dedication to the art form that masters before had created.  The art of seduction and pick up.

Now why as a dating coach would I recommend a book like this, considering I firmly believe in one on one coaching and a no one size fits all approach to relationships?  Honestly, because many of these skills and techniques if approached ethically and with the intent of doing no harm, can bolster a persons confidence.  By following tried and true methodology it takes away the fear of approaching a stranger.  It gives a script to follow, and what remains is a sense of accomplishment and a surprising feeling of “hey, that wasn’t so bad”.

And for all you ladies, I believe this book is valuable for you to read as well.  Knowing the tricks and techniques that men have employed over the decades is absolutely eye opening.  Men have ended careers in the pursuit of women, and this book shows exactly how they accomplished that, and why.  And if you’re like me, and ever suspect some guy in a bar used a pick up line on you in a bar, this book will most likely validate that suspicion.

So, pick up your copy today, and learn what some many before have learned before, that The Game is not for the feint of heart!

Non-Monogamous Reading List

As with my standard dating and relationship reading list, I will be updating this whenever I come across a book that I feel will add value to anyone exploring non-monogamy.  The more we learn, read, and ask questions the better equipped we become to face our challenges.  I have also included an easy link to purchase through Amazon.ca, through me as an affiliate, so thank you for supporting the resources I am building!

Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.  This is the very first book that I ever read on Non-monogamy and it has my full and complete endorsement for anyone just starting their own journey.  It is a book that eloquently explains the evolution of monogamy and non-monogamy through science and biology.  It is put forward without pressure, more simply for your consideration.  Providing examples throughout the animal kingdom and our own homo sapiens lineage.  I would place this book at a medium difficulty level, but one that you will be happy you put some time into.

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.  Nearly every educator on the very broad non-monogamous spectrum will have this book on their required reading list.  Basically, this is the how to manual that you never knew you needed.  Why?  Because it actually goes through and gives you practical advice and solutions for everything from opening your relationships, to MFM’s, right on over to full polyamorous groupings.  It is a simple, easy to follow book, with answers to almost every question a newbie might ask.  While the last half was not quite my speed, the first half really helped sort out almost every question I had.  This book is clearly written and I would rate as an easy read, with intermediate subject matter.

 

Reading List – Breaking Away From Relationship Norms

There is a wealth of knowledge in the written word, from memoirs, to self improvement books, to relationship and flirtation books.  This reading list will be updated from time to time to include a list of books on a variety of subjects, all personally read and reviewed by me.  I hope you will take the time to check a few out, on subject matter that interests you, perhaps even order them on Amazon (quick links on my site).  And I would love to hear your recommendations too!  Please feel free to e-mail me at ghislaine9999@gmail.com for a personalized reading list or to share your favorites.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson.  This is a book that feels like a modern version of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.  If you are unsure where you fit into the whole scheme of things, are wanting perspective, or are just feeling incredibly downtrodden, this book is worth the read.  It is short, sweet, and very to the point which is perfect for even the occasional reader.  It is your life to live, and should be just as amazing to live as your dreams, so grab hold and shift your perception from poor me, to I can do this!  This book is a motivator and will actually make you want to start changing your views immediately.  Enjoy!

The Art of Seduction By Robert Greene.  I loved this book from the first moment I picked it up.  Robert Greene in all his books uses historical stories to show the main types of seducers and their most common targets.  It is a book I have re read a few times and would highly encourage everyone to read it.  As a practical guide it will explain all the different types of seducers and seductresses, and once you understand the vast variety of people in the dating game, you will find a style and fit.  This will help you gain an understanding of your natural strengths, weaknesses and open your eyes to endless possibilities of connections.  This is an intense book, but you will have trouble putting it down.

Modern Romance By Aziz Ansari.  For anyone struggling with too many choices or frustrated with Online Dating, this book perfectly summarizes and expands on the idea’s that are core to my coaching.  Online dating is rapidly becoming a very toxic place, even more than when this book was published in 2012, however the mistakes that are being made when engaging in the swipe right phenomenon are still the same problems.  We must remember there is a human being on the other end of the screen.  This was a book that had me saying, yes, YES! numerous times, while simultaneously laughing out loud.  It’s a simple, and straightforward read, with humor throughout, so a must read.