Single – Dating and Relationship Coaching

Everything is #@%!ed [Book Review]

One of the key tenets that I tell my clients is that you need to be in a good dating state of mind in order to meet someone new. After reading Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope (which you can purchase by clicking on the book cover and the bonus of fueling this blog), by Mark Manson. I can now go much deeper with what that means. Having a good dating state of mind is not about just being positive, and putting your best foot forward. Instead, it is about being realistic with who you are and having a firm grasp on what hope means to you, and more, understanding that sometimes life sucks and you’re OK with that.

How does that help you find the person of your dreams? Quite simply, opening yourself up to another person is tough. And it is even tougher if you are simply putting on a happy face for show. And being in place where you react with your emotions alone makes you more vulnerable to feeling hopeless when things don’t go your way.

This book is an incredibly simple read, and the third of his three books I have read (so a big fan and I will be doing a review on Models as the number self help book for men I coach!) If you have ever felt that life is just not fair. Or that you keep wishing and hoping for good things but they just aren’t happening, then this is the eye opener you need to read. Learning to accept life as it is. To be present in the moment, understanding that pain is the universal constant, and that is OK. And more to the point to give you a direct path to have a better life right now, instead of just waiting for it to happen once you find the one.

As always, Mark Manson talks in a relatable voice, with humour, and down to earth language, even when referencing Plato, Kant, and Nietzsche (which is not easy to do). So I highly recommend this book as an integral part of getting your best self out into the dating scene!

Blog Post, Reading List

Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blonds? [Book Review]

This was one of the most surprisingly informative reads of my summer (click on the link to purchase)! Not only was this book a simple and fun read, filled with humor and clever stories, it was incredibly well researched and study supported. Written by a biologist, Jena Pincott’s writing style allows you to read from cover to cover, or just scan through and read the parts of interest to you.

And what may you find in that? Well, if you’re single, it will explain the biological triggers for attraction from auditory, to oral, and of course visual. If your in a relationship, it helps explain why your partner is the one. Both by covering the clever ways our bodies choose who to procreate with, and the hormones and perhaps even pheromones that are present when selecting our forever mate.

But more than that, it is filled with tips and tricks to present yourself in the best possible light for attraction. And seriously, who doesn’t need that from time to time, right?

A highly entertaining and informative read that I would highly recommend you pick up today (and there is a handy image to purchase from amazon right at the top of the page!). So have fun learning about yourself, your prospects and even your partner if that applies to you, on a biological level.

Stay tuned for the next book review coming soon…

Blog Post

Relationship Advice From Your Friends…A Common Mistake

When you were last heartbroken, what was the first thing that you did? Most likely you went to your best friend for consolation, venting and a drink. And almost every single time, what do they tell you at some point in the night? That they knew the person wasn’t for you, that they saw a red flag and you can do so much better now that you are alone. And you feel comforted by this. It’s for the best and you can now start the healing process.

The problem with this though, if your friend saw these red flags, why didn’t they tell you about them beforehand? Perhaps if your friend had been honest about their concerns you could have even addressed them with your partner and maybe worked on them. And when you receive that wisdom do you ask them their qualifications? Are they in a loving, healthy relationship? What’s more, if you had concerns of your own prior to your breakup did you even know how to bring them up? To work on them? Do you have the ability to ask for your need or wants? Do you know how to listen in the future?

Have you ever felt like you were just surviving in a relationship? That you just didn’t want to rock the boat and you knew if you brought a specific topic up you would be single again? This is not a healthy way to live. A loving partnership is just that, a partnership. Where two people can talk about their problems, even when they include their own relationship. And work together to find solutions, compromises and come out strong on the other side.

Want to learn how to actually accomplish that? Contact me today to set up your initial consultation! ghislaine9999@gmail.com

Blog Post, Online Dating Tips

Pre Christmas “Single Shopping” by K-Ghislaine

I read a statistic the other day, that 2 weeks before Christmas is the time when most breakups occur. This makes a whole lot of sense. Consider that you have been a little unhappy for a while, and now have to make the decision to buy someone you are not sure you like anymore a present. Or what’s worse? You have to spend the already stressful holiday times with your crazy family, and dread including that person that now has the most irritating laugh EVER! (Or some equally annoying trait that you no longer want to be in the same room with). Well, better to just end things quietly before it gets too close to the holidays and when you still have time to do some pre-Christmas “single shopping”.

And what is pre Christmas Single Shopping you might ask? Well, quite simply, it is the time for vetting out the person who will be good enough in a pinch. It is the person who looks good in pictures, or just good on paper, whatever you may need at bare minimum. The guy or gall who dresses up nicely and can make polite conversation at a company Christmas party. It is the individual who has been “friendzoned” forever, so will be extra excited at the opportunity to be seen out in public with you. Or maybe, it’s that friendly face on the dating site who messaged you and you didn’t instantly cringe, so now that you’re a little desperate and lonely, well… it is the season of giving right?

It is almost like the speed date. You have two weeks or less before Christmas to make a decision to bring around you maybe partner, or spend the holidays alone. Online dating messages around this time are nice, polite, and just all around easy to read. Or maybe the writers have just all had their rum and egg nog so their barriers are lowered when they scroll through the multitude of pictures. I cannot say for sure, but there is a tone difference in messages.

So if this is a decision you recently had to make, enjoy your newly single shopping. Be nice to your “friendzoned” maybe partner. Be courteous to the new person who is as lonely as you and will scratch your back at your family’s gathering if you scratch theirs. Remember the campsite rule! And who knows, maybe this defenses down chance you’re taking could be the best thing you ever did, and there are many more happy Christmas’ together in your future.

To read more from this author please visit Breaking Away from Monogamy Or if you are ready to break the cycle of single Christmas shopping, e-mail Ghislaine9999@gmail.com and scheduled your first one on one initial consultation.