Online dating has been and remains a large part of how I find new people to interact with. I have been using various sites for over 8 years, and while I have changed what I am looking for (couples only at the moment) I have created for myself a list of Do’s and Don’t s. Now I acknowledge I can be a little on the picky side, however I have 3 fundamental items that time and time again I will not waver on.
1. Do NOT send a dick picture when online dating…EVER!
This rule is hard and fast without any exceptions. Do not have one in your profile, and do not use your dick as an ice breaker or conversation piece EVER! No one wants to see your random junk. And I like many out there have written a piece or too begging guys to stop this deviant and deplorable behavior, so if you still don’t understand please read this for further insight. (Please note that I love the cock and I appreciate seeing it within the bounds of my relationship. This advice is for online dating and is to be applied until you are in a relationship or have been explicitly asked for one, and even then, I would double check prior to sending a photo of your dick!)
2. I want to see your eyes in at least one photo.
If you have your eyes covered in every single photo I will never meet you, EVER. This is a lesson that I have learned via trial and error. I have given a few guys the benefit of the doubt over the years and have always come home disappointed. Eyes are the most important image to have on your profile, and I have talked to numerous people of all genders and looking for statuses who say the same. Eyes tell a lot about a person and I want to see them before I start chatting and long before I sit down to coffee or a beer.
3. Please for the love of my sanity do NOT have your children, or any child in your profile picture.
I don’t care if you are holding them or if they are so adorable that you feature them with you off in the background. Whatever your intent, it is a bad idea. Online dating is for adults. Your children did not give consent to help you get laid, and I could go on and on about the creep factors associated with this particular picture choice. No matter how important they are in your life, online dating is about you and meeting another person. You would never bring a kid on a first date, so do not use them lure someone in. Just, stop it!
4. Cropping out your ex or scribbling out her face is bad form. Do not do this! If your best picture is of you with your ex, pick up that handy little cell phone in your pocket and take a new one. Better yet, take a shower, get dressed up and get a friend to take a brand spanking new photo of you. But do not have a photo where we can see a ladies arm, or some crappy smiley face pasted over your old partners face. You can do better!
5. Group shots as your profile picture is one of the worst ideas to use. Here’s what happens when I see this. I guess who you are, then I scroll to the next photo, and see yet another group shot. So I guess again and then I scroll only to finally see who you are. And low and behold I am disappointed. Either I guessed wrong, and I dislike losing. Or I see who you are and I am not impressed because my time has been wasted. Is our first meeting going to be with a group of your bros? No? Then put your own photo up first. Do not waste my energy guessing who you are. It won’t end well for you, or increase your status. And really ladies, I must pick on you here too. Your group shots are far worse than any I have seen on a man’s profile. And did you get permission from every lady in the group to post that ridiculous shot of you having so much fun that one time 10 years ago at the club? No? Then just take it down!
And an honorable mention goes to snap chat or filters. It should go without saying that we wanna see you. Not some adorable faun with bubbles that looks oh so delicious. It’s lame and makes you look incredibly immature and just tad dumb. So, be real. Be authentic. And ask yourself how you would react to the photo’s you put up before you activate your profile. Would you want to meet you?
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